Marriage Monday: Raising Boys



Marriage Monday added kids in the mix (for the topic) this month. Let me admit that in my mind, the term " raising boys" includes (raising) my hubby, ehe :D



God blessed us with two highly-spirited boys. Zachary is 5 while Gabriel is 2 yrs. and 9 mos. old. I figure this is the best topic where I could have something to say about. And there's more to learn everyday.

I'm re-titling e-Moms topic to:

Raising Boys: What To Do

1. Always show them your love and affection. They want and need to be kissed, hugged and touched. The more I love my kids, the more that they become loving. Showing them your love will help them grow as men who are loving and respectful to women.

2. Talk to them about their feelings. Help them sort out what they feel. It won't make them appear weak but hence will help them grow strong individuals who are understanding and sensitive to others' feelings. Don't tell them that boys don't cry coz they will when they get hurt and hearing that statement will make them feel insecure.  Though I have a "crying corner" for my kids where I let them cry for as long as they want. Turns out they stop whining or crying when I ask them to go there.

3. Give them lots of space to run and explore. Understand that boys are naturally active. They like to move around, climb, look and touch things (dirt especially). Set some rules for safety but let them practice their budding independence. So when it's time for them to behave ex. inside the church, it's easy for them to obey because they know the difference between a playground and the place of worship.

4. React not much when you see something not so ordinary. Ex. my youngest son likes playing with a barbie doll or plays with the sensitive part of his body. They will much more be curious why you are reacting too much. And the more they would want to find it out themselves and there's more trouble with that. With them, there's nothing wrong about it. So you just need to gently divert their attention to other things.

Our bestfriends has a daughter and my son openly expresses his affection to the girl. The girl is in his drawing of his dream house in his book and when I asked him why is she there, he said it's because "I always, always like her." This morning he's busy writing on an envelope and when he showed me, there's a pair of scissors inside. He said it's a surprise for the girl. I just told him if you want to give her a gift, we'll just buy a new item when we go to the store.

What I can see is a pure heart, pure admiration from my son and I don't want to bring any malice to it. If time passes and they grow up and still like each other then that's the time they need guidance about dating and so on, hehe :D

5. Teach them about God. Teach them how to depend on God through prayer. Talk about God and his words in every opportunity. I found out that they become more obedient when they have learned about who God is in our life.


Deuteronomy 6:7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.


One thing that I always have in mind is:


Galatians 5:22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control.


And since my kids are the ones I have fellowship with everyday, I try my best to practice it always.

Comments

Joyfull said…
Since I have such a soft spot in my heart for boys, your post just drew me in! Great insight on what to do as we raise sons. Your boys are so cute!! Thanks for sharing today.
Constance said…
Your boys might be young, well, maybe not your Hub! ;-) but you have already obtained much wisdom! I agree with encouraging boys to be sensitive and so on. I always had the mind set that our son would be comfortable around girls and know how to honor them. I began with having him hold the door open for me and moved on to a lot of other polite gestures. I'm sure having 3 older sisters also added to his comfort level of being around girls! He turns 20 next month and he is definitely a man, he is also sweet and sensitive! The journey of navigating a boy through his childhood and watching him transform into a man is an amazing and rewarding trip!
Connie
I really enjoyed your post - you gave some great advice. And I love that we both felt led to write about the phrase "Boys don't cry"!
Wendy said…
I enjoyed reading your post!
Tami said…
You share some great points here. I especially like the point about talking with them about their feelings. Boys need practice at that.
Susannah said…
Aw, I love that photo of the three of you! It sounds like you really enjoy mothering your two boys. Thanks for sharing your wisdom (and retitling your post!). It's very nice to meet you.

And thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Jona.

Blessings, e-Mom ღ
Mac an Rothaich said…
Love your last comment about, since your kids are who you fellowship with the most. Excellent blog. I have boys and girls and although I not differences in them I also notice boys aren't naturally afraid of emotion and I agree one should never start telling them they can't express using one, crying being the most common limitation put on boys. Thanks for sharing!
JonaBQ said…
@ e-Mom, "enjoy mothering" yes but there are not so good days for us too, ehe. only with God's help and grace :D
tonya said…
I loved your examples about how active they are. Our son would sit and quietly play with his car while I was reading to them. Or they would reenact in the backyard what they had learned from school. Letting boys move is SO important.
Great post!
Miriam Pauline said…
I only have girls, but I pray that someday they grow up to meet boys who were taught these things! Thanks for sharing.
nice A said…
Love your tips, sis. Yes, let's give our kids time especially allowing them to express their feelings - anger, frustrations, excitements, fears, etc. This is the main reason I take some time off from blogging because I'm a working (and now studying again!) mom and I have a little baby who needs my full attention, too. I especially miss Marriage Monday. I used to join it. Di bale babalik din ako soon. Thanks for stopping by my blog and hope we can visit each other more often when I get more active at it soon.
nice A said…
Hi, Jona! You really inspired me to join this month's Marriage Monday. Thanks I was able to catch up. My post is up.
Your boys are simply adorable and yes,I also think that hub is one of my boys. :)