Weeks ago, I was talking, okay, complaining about our eldest son, Zach. Through him God revealed the "terrible me." I realized that He will put you to situations where your true character will be revealed again and again until you make the decision to change. God used pain to wake me up. He allowed me to feel frustrated and sorry. There are two kinds of reactions when we feel sorry about our mistakes. (2 Corinthians 7:8-11)
- leaves no regret, brings change, earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.
- brings (only one thing) DEATH.
I decided to choose the first one. Judas chose number 2. He hanged himself after selling Jesus to the Jews.
I decided to love my son more. It doesn't mean that I ignore his bad behavior and don't spank him anymore. I do when I need to. But I make sure that I am not sulking in anger when I do it. Easily said than done. There were times when I'll feel a mix of emotions - impatience, anger, frustration, tiredness - all at once but I need to stay composed...SANE. I need to set aside my own hurt that I have hurt him. I need to really sit him aside and talk to him and explain why I did that. He needs to understand that disobedience leads to hurt not as a punishment but as a consequence. So as he grows up (Proverbs 22:6) he'll learn that this is also the way how God disciplines us older people. Instead of shouting at him, banging things around, or nagging him, I lovingly but firmly explain to him that he was being spanked because he did something wrong but he can choose next time not to do it again.I decided to understand his needs more. I focused more on catching him doing good and appreciating him rather than give more attention when he did something bad. I always remember to tell him that I love him. I hug him, touch him and smile at him more. I talk to him like an adult. I am surprised at how he understands things at his age. I'm happy that things are getting better.
but it's a relief (Acts 3:19).